Maintaining Discipline in Worship

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12/02/2012

'Abdullaah would rise before Fajr (dawn) each morning and rush to the Mosque to offer the prayer. He would return to the Mosque for Maghrib (sunset) and 'Ishaa' (evening) prayers as well. He read the Quran daily. He studied other Islamic books in his spare time. He spent much of his free time with his family and took his role as the spiritual leader in his home quite seriously.

Five years later, he found that he would go days, sometimes a whole week without performing a single prayer. He no longer attends congregational prayer at the Mosque—he didn't have time with his new job. This new job involved his working closely in nightclub establishments with people of questionable backgrounds. This resulted in his becoming very secretive about many of his work activities; he didn't even talk to his wife about them because he knew she would disapprove. Work kept him busy all night and throughout the entire weekend. Many of his new friends also worked with him and he began to spend a great deal of his free time with them. Because of this, he spent less time with his family. He had to sleep during the day in order to be able to work each night.

 

His wife noticed a great change in his demeanor. They had several discussions about his work and how it was affecting him and his relationship with Allaah Almighty. He agreed, and would begin the process of searching for new work, but inevitably, chose to stay in his current job. He soon found himself feeling very distanced from his wife and children. Even though the money was abundant when he first began, it was now barely paying the bills.

 

He felt his marriage crumbling beneath the years of neglect. He found himself succumbing to depression over his circumstances, unmotivated to initiate the things he knew he would have to do in order for his life to change.

 

It is interesting to note that 'Abdullaah's life seemed much more peaceful and balanced when he engaged in his regular religious duties, and began to suffer significantly when he abandoned them.

 

Could this simply be a coincidence? Imaam Mohammad Baianouni of the Islamic Center in Raleigh, North Carolina accurately sums up situations like this stating: "The regulation of a man's conduct within one system of life is one of the most important reasons of success and stability. The absence of this regulation is one of the greatest crises a man suffers from in his life. This happens when man is left without guidance from Allaah, The Most High, or without proper upbringing based on the Divine Guidance. Under these circumstances, man's life becomes miserable on this earth and he will be amongst the losers in the Hereafter".

 

A religion of discipline

 

It is only from the infinite wisdom and mercy of Allaah that we have been given a system of belief that instructs and assists in guiding our actions and behavior. By participating in the daily obligations of our faith outlined in the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad  we are more likely to enjoy Allaah's bounty in this life, and reap the rewards in the Hereafter. Allaah Almighty ordered all believers to be disciplined in their worship, and not to disobey Him. In the Quran, Allaah Says (what means) "So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned back with you [to Allaah], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do." [Quran 11: 112]

 

The intensity of our faith changes throughout our lives. There are times when we are of strong faith, and times when we struggle. Many brothers and sisters who proudly claim Islam as their religion unintentionally find themselves "slipping" in their religious duties. Seemingly overnight their lives go from pleasurable and carefree to darkness and confusion. You may begin to acknowledge that you have landed in such a state because of the choices you made, but you are lost as to how to go about changing things.

 

Being steadfast in our duties to Allaah Almighty is what keeps you from languishing during your darker moments. Remember that your ultimate return is to Him Almighty, so you must develop discipline and a consistency in your daily routine to keep your faith from sinking.

 

Developing discipline

 

Recognizing your shortcomings is the first step towards becoming more disciplined. Allaah Almighty Says (what means): "…Indeed, Allaah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves..." [Quran 13: 11] When you decide to change for the sake of Allaah Almighty, Allaah will help you change. Each one is responsible for oneself and will be questioned accordingly on the Day of Judgment, with no one to intercede on your behalf. You must make the choice to live your life according to Allaah's Will on your own. You will not benefit from being told about what you need to do and how you need to change in order to have a more fulfilling life. You must take an interest in making those changes for yourself. Only then can you reap the rewards. Think about the wives of the Prophets Noah and Loot, may Allaah exalt their mention. Each Prophet  tried unsuccessfully to offer the best guidance to his wife, but because there was no real interest on their part, it was said to each of women (what means): "…Enter the Fire with those who enter!"[Quran 66: 10]

 

I have a good friend who was going through a very rough time. Her faith was at an all time low. During several of our conversations, she lamented that Allaah Almighty was punishing her for not being a "good Muslim." I asked her: "Why must Allaah be punishing you? Allaah puts us through many tests and trials in this life to give us the chance to know Him better." We debated back and forth about this for some time. She was really stuck in the debts of despair, and found my comments annoyingly optimistic. I reminded her that Allaah Almighty is also Merciful and that this trial for her could be the wake up call she needed to have an opportunity to renew and redeem her faith and become closer to Him Almighty. Perhaps Allaah had to put her through such difficulty to get her attention and give her a chance to make changes.

 

There are many things you can do to establish discipline in your daily life. Such consistency not only balances our faith, but all other aspects of our lives as well: 

•  Evaluate yourself regularly to make certain you are doing all that you can spiritually.
• Perform your daily prayers punctually each day.
• Read the Quran regularly, with an effort to truly understand what you are reading.
• Seek knowledge regularly, religious and other, through books, CDs/tapes, classes and lectures.
• Keep company with righteous people.
• Have confidence in your faith and, more importantly, in Allaah Almighty.
• Regularly spend some time alone in contemplation and worship.

Islam is a complete way of life. As believers, we should desire the discipline that allows us to regulate our lives and keep chaos away. In choosing this way of life, peace and contentment are your right. Discipline comes as a result of performing certain duties consistently. Ask Allaah to help you to establish discipline in your religious commitment and to be able to submit to all that pleases Him Almighty.

By Kimberly Ben

Islam on dowry

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09/04/2012

The Real Gift 
Islam has legislated the giving of the dower by the husband to the wife in order to please the woman’s heart and to honour her. It is also meant to bring an end to what was done in the Days of Ignorance wherein she was wronged, exploited, despised and robbed of her wealth. The dower is a right exclusively for the wife. It is her possession and none of her guardians or relatives may share any part of it. No one has any power over her concerning how she wishes to dispose of it, as long as she does so in a legally acceptable manner. She may give it away as a gift, she may lend it to others or she may give it in charity or do any other permissible acts she wishes with it.   
The dower was instituted because the goal of marriage is not the actual act of the marriage contract in itself. In fact, the actual purpose of marriage cannot be achieved unless the spouses stay in a state of marriage. However, that may not be achieved unless the dower is an obligation at the time of the marriage contract itself. In this case, when there come times that may lead the man to divorce his wife, such as estrangement or coarse behaviour, the husband would not be willing to divorce his wife due to just the slightest act of rudeness that occurs. If it were not for the dower that was required due to the contract itself, it would be very easy for him to leave her.

Therefore, the goals of marriage would not be met as the goals and benefits of marriage are only met when the two are in accord and agreement with one another but that accord will not come about unless the woman is something honoured and special to the husband. But such honour will not come about unless he had to give up something important to him. This is because what is most difficult to achieve is most special to the person. Therefore, if the wife is not something special in the eyes of the husband, then he will dispose of her at the first sign of unhappiness, the accord will not occur and the purposes of marriage will not be achieved.

What we see happening in some European countries, and indeed some Muslim countries, is very strange indeed. This is where the woman is required to furnish a dowry or provide the furniture for their future house. This is definitely turning the natural order of things upside down and goes against the nature of mankind. It leads to a great deal of social ills and behavioural harm. It is a means by which the woman is despised and belittled. Indeed, she is ruined because of it. If the woman is not able to gather enough wealth together for marriage, she will not be able to get married and, instead, will have boyfriends and affairs, and other evil results.

Such a practice contains a great deal of evil and harm for the society; this practice may even bring about society’s end soon. There is a great difference between the case where the woman feels that she and what she possesses belong to her husband and where she feels that she is something desired and honoured, as the fiancé spends money on her and gives her presents and so on to get her as his wife.

One regrettable aspect of dowry-giving in recent times is that it is becoming more and more a matter of ostentation. Nothing could be more un-Islamic in motivation than this. Even the practice of performing a marriage quietly, without any flamboyant display of wealth, but subsequently giving a lavish dowry to enable the bride to set up her home is contrary to Islamic practice. It was certainly not the Sunnah of the Prophet  . Faatimah  was his favourite daughter, but he neither gave her a lavish dowry nor did he send things to her home after the wedding, and even when she  made a request to him for something of a material nature, he only gave her the benefit of his counsel.

Mahr (The Dower)

Islam has successfully maintained an even balance in society between men and women by giving its unequivocal endorsement to a practical division of labour, whereby women are placed in charge of the internal arrangement of the household, while men are responsible for its financing. The home is thus organised on the pattern of a microcosmic estate, with the man in a position of authority. The Quran is specified on this issue; Allaah Says (what means): “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what [qualities] Allaah has given one over the other and what they spend [in support] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have them guard…” [Quran 4:34]

For largely biological reasons, women are well adapted to domestic pursuits while men, for similar reasons, are better suited to work outside the home. These physical and mental differences between men and women are, in practice, what underlay Islam’s division of familial responsibilities into internal and external spheres, with the woman dealing exclusively with the home and family and the man providing the funds.

Mahr Mu’ajjal (Promptly given dower)

At the time of the marriage, the groom hands over to the bride a sum of money called Mahr (dower) which is a token of his willing acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all necessary expenses of his wife. This is the original meaning of Mahr, although this custom has come to have different connotations in modern times.

There are two ways of presenting the Mahr to the bride. One is to hand it over at the time of the marriage, in which case it is known as Mahr Mu’ajjal, or promptly given dower. During the time of the Prophet and his companions, Mahr Mu’ajjal was the accepted practice and the amount fixed was generally quite minimal. The giving of Mahr by ‘Ali  to Faatimah  who was the Prophet’s daughter, is an illustration of how this custom was respected. After the marriage had been arranged, the Prophet  asked ‘Ali if he had anything he could give as dower in order to make Faatimah his lawfully wedded wife. ‘Ali replied: "I swear by Allaah that I have nothing, O Messenger of Allaah.” The Prophet then asked: “Where is the coat of armour I once gave you?” ‘Ali replied that it was still in his possession. The Prophet  then instructed him to send the coat of armour to Faatimah  thereby making his union lawful. This then was the sum total of Faatimah’s dower.

My Journey to Islam

Thursday 02-04-2009

       Aisha Bhutta  The Guardian Newspaper, England Thursday 8th May 1997 A Woman on a Mission -------------------------------- Aisha Bhutta,...

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       Aisha Bhutta 

The Guardian Newspaper, England

Thursday 8th May 1997

A Woman on a Mission

--------------------------------

Aisha Bhutta, also known as Debbie Rogers, is serene. She sits on the sofa in big front room of her tenement flat in Cowcaddens, Glasgow. The walls are hung with quotations from the Koran, a special clock to remind the family of prayer times and posters of the Holy City of Mecca. Aisha's piercing blue eyes sparkle with evangelical zeal, she smiles with a radiance only true believers possess. Her face is that of a strong Scots lass - no nonsense, good-humoured - but it is carefully covered with a hijab.

For a good Christian girl to convert to Islam and marry a Muslim is extraordinary enough. But more than that, she has also converted her parents, most of the rest of her family and at least 30 friends and neighbours.

Her family were austere Christians with whom Rogers regularly attended Salvation Army meetings. When all the other teenagers in Britain were kissing their George Michael posters goodnight, Rogers had pictures of Jesus up on her wall. And yet she found that Christianity was not enough; there were too many unanswered questions and she felt dissatisfied with the lack of disciplined structure for her beliefs. "There had to be more for me to obey than just doing prayers when I felt like it."

Aisha had first seen her future husband, Mohammad Bhutta, when she was 10 and regular customer at the shop, run by his family. She would see him in the back, praying. "There was contentment and peace in what he was doing. He said he was a Muslim. I said: What's a Muslim?".

Later with his help she began looking deeper into Islam. By the age of 17, she had read the entire Koran in Arabic. "Everything I read", she says, "was making sense."

She made the decision to convert at16. "When I said the words, it was like a big burden I had been carrying on my shoulders had been thrown off. I felt like a new-born baby."

Despite her conversion however, Mohammed's parents were against their marrying. They saw her as a Western woman who would lead their eldest son astray and give the family a bad name; she was, Mohammed's father believed, "the biggest enemy."

Nevertheless, the couple married in the local mosque. Aisha wore a dress hand-sewn by Mohammed's mother and sisters who sneaked into the ceremony against the wishes of his father who refused to attend.

It was his elderly grandmother who paved the way for a bond between the women. She arrived from Pakistan where mixed-race marriages were even more taboo, and insisted on meeting Aisha. She was so impressed by the fact that she had learned the Koran and Punjabi that she convinced the others; slowly, Aisha, now 32, became one of the family.

Aisha's parents, Michael and Marjory Rogers, though did attend the wedding, were more concerned with the clothes their daughter was now wearing (the traditional shalwaar kameez) and what the neighbours would think. Six years later, Aisha embarked on a mission to convert them and the rest of her family, bar her sister ("I'm still working on her). "My husband and I worked on my mum and dad, telling them about Islam and they saw the changes in me, like I stopped answering back!"

Her mother soon followed in her footsteps. Marjory Rogers changed her name to Sumayyah and became a devout Muslim. "She wore the hijab and did her prayers on time and nothing ever mattered to her except her connections with God."

Aisha's father proved a more difficult recruit, so she enlisted the help of her newly converted mother (who has since died of cancer). "My mumand I used to talk to my father about Islam and we were sitting in the sofa in the kitchen one day and he said: "What are the words you say when you become a Muslim?" "Me and my mum just jumped on top of him." Three years later, Aisha's brother converted "over the telephone - thanks to BT", then his wife and children followed, followed by her sister's son.

It didn't stop there. Her family converted, Aisha turned her attention to Cowcaddens, with its tightly packed rows of crumbling, gray tenement flats. Every Monday for the past 13 years, Aisha has held classes in

Islam for Scottish women. So far she has helped to convert over 30. The women come from a bewildering array of backgrounds. Trudy, a lecturer at the University of Glasgow and a former Catholic, attended Aisha's classes purely because she was commissioned to carry out some research. But after six months of classes she converted, deciding that

Christianity was riddled with "logical inconsistencies". "I could tell she was beginning to be affected by the talks", Aisha says. How could she tell? "I don't know, it was just a feeling."

The classes include Muslim girls tempted by Western ideals and need in salvation, practicing Muslim women who want an open forum for discussion denied them at the local male-dominated mosque, and those simply interested in Islam. Aisha welcomes questions. "We cannot expect people blindly to believe."

Her husband, Mohammad Bhutta, now 41, does not seem so driven to convert Scottish lads to Muslim brothers. He occasionally helps out in the family restaurant, but his main aim in life is to ensure the couple's five children grow up as Muslims. The eldest, Safia, "nearly 14, Al-Humdlillaah (Praise be to God!)", is not averse to a spot of recruiting herself. One day she met a woman in the street and carried her shopping, the woman attended Aisha's classes and is now a Muslim.

"I can honestly say I have never regretted it", Aisha says of her conversion to Islam. "Every marriage has its ups and downs and sometimes you need something to pull you out of any hardship. But the Prophet Peace by upon him, said: 'Every hardship has an ease.' So when you're going through a difficult stage, you work for that ease to come."

Mohammed is more romantic: "I feel we have known each other for centuries and must never part from one another. According to Islam, you are not just partners for life, you can be partners in heaven as well, for ever. Its a beautiful thing, you know."